My Best Friend's Shoes

"You Think YOU'VE Got It Bad"

Mid-to-late 30s consultant bored with life and frustrated by the demands of his high-stress job and repeated problems with home repair wishes for a change. Meanwhile across the country, his friend, a mid-to-late 30s screenwriter, is living with his folks and frustrated that he hasn't sold a script. He also wishes for a change. At the exact same time. Which was July 8, 2009, at 12:34:56am. And magic happens. They switch places. You know how the rest goes.

Ideally, I am thinking perhaps Jason Bateman and Robert Downey Jr . Although I could totally dig a Steve Zahn & Sam Rockwell reunion (yes, another one). For the mother, how about Shirley Knight, since Debbie Reynolds is taken.

(Inspired by a comment by Jon on List Anything)

'Gna!

Well, what do you know? 'Za was a hit and now they want a sequel and the whole gang has sold out!

Courtney went off to Hollywood and, can you believe it?, became the hottest starlet in town. Because she's such a genuine sweetheart, though, the first place she runs is back to Hometown to see Joe. And she even takes the bus. She steps off to a Rilo Kiley tune and into Joe's arms.

Joe has been wanting to see Vince and the moppet, and Courtney's been longing to do some theatre, so they head to the The City. In a car. The bright lights glare and the Postal Service plays and they just love it so much, they decide to move. After selling Pete's to Hometown's misfit orphan Josh (Justin Long) for a buck, Joe decides to go in on a joint venture with Vince and Courtney and they open their new restaurant Mama's 'Gna. Frank's mom's secret lasagna recipe quickly becomes the biggest hit in town and our three heroes are the toast of the city. "Four stars!" everyone reads in the paper.

And you know what success means....DRUGS. Drugs, and crying, and tantrums, and drama. Even little teen moppet gets in on the action. It is a big mess, and then everyone cries and hugs and after some bummer scenes with Iron and Wine music, everyone cries some more and gets better and grows up and then there's a big symbolic New Year's Eve party at Gna where everyone is beautiful and Arcade Fire's "Wake Up" plays the camera out the window into the city lights.

I think somewhere in there Josh managed to marry Ellen Page. She is a teacher.

'Za!

The movie opens on a pair of kids in the 70s eating lunch with their working class dad, Pete (that annoying heart problem guy from Grey's Anatomy) in a pizzeria. The dad talks wistfully about his unrealized dream of his own restaurant. The kids listen for a while as they eat. The boring story ends, the kids fight over the last piece, the cheese pulls, draws, and snaps. Cut to opening credits.

Fade In. Now 30 years older, the brothers - Joe (Sam Rockwell) and Vince (Steve Zahn) - are standing in front of an open grave. Dad is dead and they are sad. Joe still works in town, but Vince has had to drive in all the way from The City where he works as A Rich Investment Banker. Joe is, you guessed it, single; and Vince is, say it with me, divorced. His ex-wife is, yep, angry at him, and his kid, obviously, never gets to see him. His wife is, let's say, Sara, and is played by Carla Gugino or whatever her name is. His kid is annoying moppy headed child actor #53. Yeah, the one from Oklahoma City.

So for some reason Vince is persuaded to stay in The Hometown to get his mother, Frances (Rosemary Harris) in a nursing home or some shit and while he is there has this life-changing idea to help Joe open a pizzeria in honor of his dad. I am sure it will be called Pete's. Pete's 'Za. (That's what Pete's mother always called it.)

They hire a waitress, Courtney (Mandy Moore), who is studying at the local community college but wants to be an actress. She somehow manages to fall for both and/or either of them. They fight over her. They fight over what kind of 'za they should sell. They fight and make up. Vince's moppet comes to visit and they all have fun. Joe and Courtney fall in love. Pete's makes money. Everyone is happy.

But then everyone is sad. Now that Pete's is a smashing success, Vince can go back to The City and his important job. Before he drives off in his stupid Range Rover, there is hugging and double-back-pats. Courtney is now done with community college and has to make her big break for Hollywood. They make out and she leaves on a bus. (She is probably going to end up a hooker, but that is neither here nor there.)

Joe is alone but he has Pete's and he has money and everything is right with the world, in a melancholy-but-totally-ok sort of way.
*Cue Josh Ritter Music.*


---This movie brought to you by my lunch break and my incredibly grody burrito.

** And thanks to Mia for the one sheet.

If You Only Knew

Billionaire Ripley Price (Mathew McConaughey) has it all -- Beautiful women, expensive cars, and an exhilarating sense of adventure. He spends his days skydiving and his nights on various beaches around the world (most of which, he owns). But Ripley's life is turned upside down when a surprise visit from an ex-one-night-stand (Justine Bateman) reveals something he could never conquer...an eight year-old daughter with autism (Elle Fanning).
Now Ripley must choose between his life of risk and the risk of losing the best thing that ever happened to him. His business partner (Nicky Katt) is going behind his back to take over the empire and his ex-wife (Leslie Mann) is ruining his reputation with every word she prints in the biggest Gossip Magazine in New York. Will Ripley own up to the responsibility that comes with an autistic daughter? Or will he save his dynasty and look after his own interests like he always has?
* note - one of the endings should have something to do with him starting a school for autistic children. Just saying.