neMEsis

"He's his own worst enemy."

Rowan Atkinson lives life and goes about things all wrong in a comedy of heartbreak and hilarity and missed opportunities.

(Inspired by a comment in one of Jon's Facebook games.)

My Best Friend's Shoes

"You Think YOU'VE Got It Bad"

Mid-to-late 30s consultant bored with life and frustrated by the demands of his high-stress job and repeated problems with home repair wishes for a change. Meanwhile across the country, his friend, a mid-to-late 30s screenwriter, is living with his folks and frustrated that he hasn't sold a script. He also wishes for a change. At the exact same time. Which was July 8, 2009, at 12:34:56am. And magic happens. They switch places. You know how the rest goes.

Ideally, I am thinking perhaps Jason Bateman and Robert Downey Jr . Although I could totally dig a Steve Zahn & Sam Rockwell reunion (yes, another one). For the mother, how about Shirley Knight, since Debbie Reynolds is taken.

(Inspired by a comment by Jon on List Anything)

The Corrector

From the caterers of Wild Hogs and the sound team from Anchorman, comes this hilarious story of one guy and his buddies. Sten is basically a good man, if a little reclusive. He doesn't really like people that much; he thinks most of them are stupid. He spends most of his time with his friend Ennis. He corrects everything Ennis says, because Sten has a college degree, and Ennis doesn't. He also corrects his friends Lane, Eric, and Gan* all the time, like when they stupidly call a "backpack" a "bookbag,"

The actor that will play Sten would need to be real good at the Napoleon Dynamite voice, yelling things, and generally looking exasperated.

Once people see the movie, one word from The Corrector will be sweeping the nation, in an Office Space sort of way. You see, at Christmas, Sten gets some new shoes-with-wheels. Whenever Lane, Eric, Gan and Ennis see him rolling around they say, "Nice wheelies, nerd."

In response, Sten hits the brakes, turns around, tenses his shoulder, and yells, "HEELIES!" in his best disgusted grunt.

This post open for all suggestions -- plot, casting, deletion...

The Stranger

Young William Martin Joel (Daniel Radcliffe - using a New York accent and gaining 30 pounds) is a piano prodigy born in The Bronx, who starts to rebel against his tough neighborhood upbringing by taking on a rock-n-roll persona everyone will come to know and love as Billy Joel.
Now, older and successful (Sean Astin), Billy deals with his success and drug habits as well as struggling with a boxing career and learning to deal with dating supermodels like Christie Brinkley (Sienna Miller - they really didn't meet until much later but will make the movie more dramatic). The majority of the movie focuses on Billy's struggle with being ugly and stupid but really really rich.
Eventually, Billy overcomes his fears and starts writing again, putting out a grammy award winning album with a hit song that basically lists major turning points in history.
*Academy Award nods to Daniel Radcliffe, Sean Astin, Sienna Miller
***Please note that The Stranger and Rocket Man are sold as a double feature only.

Rocket Man

Young Reginald Dwight (Daniel Radcliffe) is a piano prodigy born in Pinner, Middlesex, who starts to rebel against his strict parents by taking on a rock-n-roll persona everyone will come to know and love as Elton John.
Now, older and successful (Hugo Weaving), Elton deals with his success and drug habits as well as coming out of the closet and revealing to the world his relationship with his lyricist, Bernie Taupin (Kevin Spacey -- this part isn't true but will make the movie more dramatic). The majority of the movie focuses on Elton's hiatus from performing in 1976 and the three years he spent secluded in one of his three mansions.
Eventually, Elton overcomes his fears and starts writing again, putting out a grammy award winning soundtrack for The Lion King and changing his lyrics to his most famous song, Candle in the Wind, to pay homage to Princess Diane.
*Academy Award nods to Daniel Radcliffe, Hugo Weaving, Kevin Spacey